Blank Stare, Full of Thoughts

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"Jangan melupakan Tuhan dalam perencanaan"
I am writing this while staring blankly to a photo taken around one and a half years ago. The photo was about me and other employees from my company as a memoir of the training that we attended. We all were told to pose as we saw our future. So, naturally, I looked up and smile as I thought of my bright future ahead. That moment, I imagined of me graduating for my doctoral degree and then the next scene was me applying for postdoctoral position in any institutes I could find at job seeking website and how happy I was at that time for obtaining things I dreamed of.

 In Holy Bible, Jacob said4:13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into this or that town and spend a year there and do business and make a profit.” 4:14 You do not know about tomorrow. What is your life like? For you are a puff of smoke that appears for a short time and then vanishes. 4:15 You ought to say instead, “If the Lord is willing, then we will live and do this or that.” 4:16 But as it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. 4:17 So whoever knows what is good to do and does not do it is guilty of sin.

 After that, I remembered of one of my colleagues in that photo who was struggling 1,5 years after that training with his disease and finally merciful God took back His child from that disease. I stared.. and again I stared to the photo. I didn't really know him, but I knew for sure that he was also posing in that photo as he saw his bright future even though (maybe) not all of them were seized. From this moment, I remembered again with the insight I gained from my solo trip to Semarang "Jangan lupakan Tuhan dalam perencanaan."

 These are photos when I took a solo trip to Semarang.
My economy train ticket

I read Little Prince for the first time at a cafe

GPIB Imannuel Semarang, the historical building from occupation period

A man prayed to God in front of Maria Cave in Gereja Katolik St. Yusuf Semarang

Me in front of Masjid Agung Semarang

Me in Sam Poo Kong Temple in Semarang


Last but not least, "kucel" me in Semarang Contemporary Art Gallery




These photos as a memoir of my trip to find my true identity in God (Pardon my narcissistic photos :p). Actually, this trip was initiated when my application for master rejected by many universities. I was so desperate and losing hope like I didn't see any good things surround me. Then, I decided to take this opportunity to learn what was His plan for my life. I strongly believed that I prayed while I applied for any applications. However, Jacob said:


 "4:1 Where do the conflicts and where do the quarrels among you come from? Is it not from this, from your passions that battle inside you? 4:2You desire and you do not have; you murder and envy and you cannot obtain; you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask; 4:3 you ask and do not receive because you ask wrongly, so you can spend it on your passions."
I dwell on my own passion not His. I ask Him wrongly... After that I asked for God's forgiveness and continue my master application in Him. Currently, I accepted to go for master study in biomedical engineering in Chongqing University. I prayed and prayed a lot (not only me, but also family and close friends) for this moment. Actually, they not prayed for my success or whatsoever, but for more moment God shaped me through my education, my relationship with people and taste of culture there. I am exciting to seek God in my years in Chongqing!!!

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